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There’s a narrative that I hear a lot lately. It’s about our need to do challenging things because we’ve become too comfortable and complacent.
In class, that sentiment takes the shape of assertions by some yoga teachers that “the pose you like the least is the one you need the most.” That belief also comes through in more subtle ways each time you steel your resolve when your quads burn, tell yourself you need to learn inversions so you can experience things upside-down, or force yourself to sit with intense emotional eddies that stir in a hip opener.
Like most one-dimensional statements, there’s some truth in there. When we exert effort, our bodies and minds adapt and become more resilient. We strength train to build stronger muscles, meditate to cultivate a steadier mind, and practice yoga poses to find more physical and emotional flexibility. In fact, a core concept of yoga philosophy is that discipline, known as tapas, which teaches us to endure hardship to purify both body and mind.
But there’s a flip side. The physical and mental signals you interpret as discomfort exist for a reason. Imagine those signals as traffic lights. Ignore enough yellow lights and you might end up running a red. In the context of your body, this could present as tension, aches, or injury. In the context of your mind, that could mean frustration, overwhelm, or the feeling that your practice is no longer the refuge it once was.
So how do you determine whether the pose you dislike is a challenge you need or a signal that something isn’t helpful—and perhaps even harmful—for you?
It depends on why you dislike it.
What Exactly Do You Dislike About a Pose?
Yoga is a practice of mindful intention. It’s about self study rather than rigid rules. That means being curious about your needs and your reasons for struggling in a pose. So the distinction between whether a pose you dislike is helpful or harmful comes back to your discernment.
1. It Hurts or Feels Wrong in Your Body
Contrary to what many of us have been told, you don’t win a prize for suffering. If your front knee experiences a sharp pinching sensation in Pigeon (Eka Pada Rajakapotasana), your wrists ache after Plank or Down Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana), or your anxiety escalates whenever you close your eyes for meditation or breathwork, the answer is pretty clear: that version of the pose or practice is not for you. At least not today.
You can approach the situation in any of several ways. You can ask your teacher for a more supportive option, replace what’s suggested with a variation that you know feels better, or simply take a breather. Remember, there’s always the option of trying again another time.
2. It’s Difficult
When your legs quake in Chair or Fierce (Utkatasana), your core quivers in Plank, or you keep losing your count in pranayama (breathwork), it’s usually a sign that you’ve found something worth continuing to explore.
Sticking with something that’s difficult, but not painful, is the kind of stimulus that can profoundly benefit your body and mind. The discomfort literally forces you to strengthen muscles and create neural pathways. But if you’re already tired or overwhelmed or otherwise lack the resources to handle it, that effort may be more than you can handle. Learn to discern the difference.
3. It’s New to You
Ever feel a little lost in a new-to-you transition between poses? Or maybe you long for the comfort of a familiar meditation technique when your teacher surprises you with a different approach?
Your discomfort likely has to do with exploring the unfamiliar. As an adult, you’re accustomed to being competent. Trying something new demands that you expend some mental stamina and perhaps even experience a little ego-deflating humility. Chances are you weren’t expecting to bring that to your yoga practice that day. But when you can lean into new experiences, you benefit from learning something new. With practice, you might even find that you like it.
That said, there will also be times when you simply don’t have the resources or resilience to navigate the unknown. That’s okay. On those days, allow yourself to turn to the comfort of familiarity. You’ll benefit more from conserving your energy than you will by stretching too far.
4. You Worry You’re “Bad” At It
There are some yoga poses or practices that will never come easily, no matter how many times you attempt them. Maybe your back aches and your knees come close to your shoulders when you’re sitting cross-legged in (so-called) Easy Pose (Sukhasana). Maybe stepping forward from Downward Dog into a Lunge simply isn’t happening for you.
There are multiple reasons why a pose might feel challenging. It could require extreme flexibility that you don’t have, whether that’s due to the shape and position of your joints or the way you rely on your muscles off the mat. A runner, for example, might not have hamstrings that are flexible enough for Splits (Hanumanasana).
It could be your proportions. Finding an arm bind behind your back and stepping through from Down Dog to a Lunge are easier for those with long arms.
Also, something as seemingly straightforward as closing your eyes in Savasana is far more complicated for those with a history of trauma.
Yoga is a practice, not a performance. Do what you can to experience the poses that come easily to you as well as those that don’t. Take blocks beneath your hands for that step-through from Down Dog or slide them your legs when you’re sitting cross-legged. Be willing to show up, without ambition or ego or attachment to the outcome.
It All Comes Down to This
And know that not every pose, pranayama, or meditation practice is beneficial for you. Does what’s being asked of you cause pain? Do you lack the energy it asks you to expend? Don’t allow anyone—including yourself—to assign any kind of mysticism to those practices that elude you or cause you harm.
But also challenge yourself appropriately when you have the capacity. Do certain yoga poses present an obstacle you have yet to overcome? Does it ask you to set your ego aside?
Ultimately, it’s not only the challenge that will make you more resilient. It’s being able to breathe through the challenge and, at times, discerning when to say no to the challenge. That’s how yoga sets you up for tremendous learning, on your mat as well as off of it.
